Wednesday Adams

Apparently the Wednesday Adams look is in style this season. Whatever that means. It's not literal because bitches wouldn't have the balls to properly dress like Wednesday. They mean "harsh centre parts" in their hair, dark lipstick... oooohhhhh you H&M regulars are SO EDGY!! Make sure you buy that jacket Pinterest says is so cool and pose pigeon-toed for the camera. zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sorry, I'm becoming a bitter old person. Or maybe I just see through everyone.

Chris Kirpatrick is on BT - he is a chubby dad now. Good luck in the dance studio. OMG bitch.

Sleep was good actually. MA sent me a text that she was going to Soho house. I was jealous because in my cab ride home from work the other night we passed by it and I went on about how I needed to be in there at some point. I need to make rich friends. Get away from me, poor people!!! That bag is so common. Where did you get those boots, Zellers!? haha kidding of course. Kinda. Just about the clothing.

Breakfast:
Chia pudding - I put a lot of cocoa powder. Added some protein powder, froz blueberries and coconut buttah. Tastey.

Snack:
mixed nuts

Gonna buy lunch today - a salad probs, cuz I'd rather eat my leftovers for dinner. WAIT. I have soup still. Score.

Hump day. This week was mega crabby, I was very irritable, but maybe I'm over it. We'll see how today goes. I managed to sleep so that could help.

Lunch:
big salad from Freshii
chicken/freshii mix/beets/dates/sprouts/tomatoes/roasted red peppers/broccoli/sun dried tomatoes.. balsamic dressing. avocado. I load up on those free vegetables and their balsamic is good.

pistachios, an apple

CROSSFIT kicked my ass. completely.

Dinner:
chicken snausage / carrots / cauli soup

2013 Challege

Alright now I'm back. I'm officially on another "real food challenge" even though I said I was bailing on Paleo a while back. Why am I doing this? Because I am not comfortable in my skin right now and I need to change that, even if it means being tight with my diet. I can't say "fuck this" and eat what I want because I gain weight easily.

So, I'm on day 2 of: NO sugar / NO alcohol / NO grains / NO dairy (maybe butter).
And I'm gona rock this and fit into my jeans again. Little treats add up. THISISWHYYOUREFAT.

ain't nothin free. There were some amazing gourmet cookies at work yesterday, of course. I dodged that bullet - not worth it. I can bare it for 5 weeks, I've done it before and it will be worth it once I look good in that AA dress again. It's happening. Oh yes. I refuse to let the winter blues get me fat again. Fuck this and fuck that.

***

Sleep was not the best, mainly because I went to bed too late and woke up too early.

Breakfast:
2 eggs / 2 bacon

At work:
handful mixed nuts

Lunch:
chicken drumstick
spinach
a large tomato
olive oil

Snack:
apple + mixed nuts

New discovery! Jamaican yams. Good shit. Saw them at the G-store and figured I'd give them a whirl. I like experimenting with new produce. There is no "miss" if you just look up a goddamn recipe. OR assume that Jamaican yams are related to "regular" yams and treat them the same. No brainer. Tasted like squash kinda. Sweet ish, starchy. Noms. I chopped them, coated them with ghee and baked them for breakfast on Saturday. Had them with eggs, so good! I bought a spaghetti squash and I plan on having spaghetti squash + sauce. Just like real spaghetti but without the big belly.

Crossfit happened. Why do I feel like I'm out of shape? My pullups/L-sits are shit. It's my fault, I don't practice my pullups. New goal. Also pushups - for shame.

Dinner:
Rowe farms chicken sausage
red pepper / mushrooms BBQ'd

2 dates, few almonds

Went to bed kinda early.

Why I'm Quitting Paleo.

After my horrific (exaggerating) shopping experience, a meat heavy dinner and a relaxing night at home, I came to the decision I am "quitting paleo". It's been just over a year since I've adopted this diet–all on my own, I might add. I've completed two 5 week challenges (voluntarily!) and kept my diet MOSTLY paleo the rest of the time. I've avoided grains, sugars (on and off) and kept my meat/fat/veg intake pretty high. I've gotten my fats from nuts, avocados, healthy oils and animals. I've tried recipes, I've avoided certain social situations and I've cut back on my drinking. Yet here I am, fatter than I was a year ago. I am working out more. I am SO conscious of what I eat, but perhaps to the point of my demise. This obsession with weight loss, this struggle with food is doing no good for my mind or body. I think too much about what I eat, I get stressed out when I "fail" or "cheat", and I truly can't go on living this way. If I look back on my thinner days, you know what? I wasn't even eating paleo. Sure, I don't want sugar in my life daily, I can totally keep that promise. But I can't promise I won't have rice sometimes, quinoa, fucking BREAD here and there. And I DONT wanna feel guilty about it. I want variety in my diet. I want to fucking eat PEANUT BUTTER on my rice cakes in the morning if I have a craving, and I want to do it all without ANY negative feelings. I can't avoid feeling like shit when I gorge on chips or drink my face off. That is my own fault and I can own that (but sometimes it's worth it :). But if I want to make rice pasta one night, I'm going to fucking make it. I want regular potatoes around my roast. I want to make potato wedges sometimes and eat them with ketchup. I miss cheese! MAYBE I want to eat some pad thai. But mostly, I want to increase my raw veg/fruit intake. I am no longer looking at fruit as "bad" or "too much sugar". Fuck that. Fresh fruits and vegetables are beautiful and I will eat them when I FEEL like eating them. Over the past year I have conditioned myself to fear grains, fear "too much fruit", and believe that paleo is the way to go. But you know what? Maybe it's not. Maybe there IS such thing as too much meat/fat. For me. For my body. There is no such thing as a universal diet that works for everyone. Maybe I'm supposed to eat more of a Mediterranean diet? I mean I have roots down there. Maybe That's my thing. NO! I don't want a "thing". I don't want to eat a certain way or label my life. I want to live my life. Enjoy things I enjoy. Eat delicious, nutrient-dense foods. Stay active, physically, mentally, creatively. I don't want to have bad associations with food and I'm sick of guilt. I'm sick of feeling fat and looking at my fat belly in the mirror. Fuck that and fuck your labels. You give your body what it wants, craves, needs. OK not YOU, ME. I am listening to my body from now on and I'm not beating myself up about made-up bad choices. I've decided what I fear and I've created this orthorexic monster, I can own this. But from now on, I will not google whether a food is paleo, or a certain ingredient is paleo. If I want to make a dessert, I will make it to the fullest. Don't get me wrong, I will still make "healthy" treats, I just feel better doing it and like experimenting. But you're god damn right I'm having a piece of cake for a celebration. You're god damn right I'm having some wine with my dinner. Fuck you, eating-style labels, and fuck you internet. (just kidding I love you.)

But here it is.

I am breaking up with paleo. I need a break from this unnecessary stress. I might not look great in a bikini in the summer but what the fuck do you want from my life?! I understand where you come from and I get that it works for lots of people. But I am giving it up for a while, just to see how I feel. See how things go. See if I become lighter in all aspects. It doesn't mean I am pigging out on poutine, it means I am going easy on myself from now on.

What do you think of that?

Salt Hangover

I feel gross.

Breakfast:
small handful cashews/macadamias + coffee

Lunch:
leftover beef fajitas on spinach w/cashew butter/salsa etc.

Snacks:
apple, orange.

I'm still so mad about Chinese food, and I hate that I'm hung up on it. I'm afraid it will affect my performance tonight at the gym. So ridiculous, need to get my priorities straight.

What is it, Michelle? Eat "treats" once a week and fuck up my strength training?

Or eat treats less than once a week and do better/feel better? Annoying.

The answer is so obvious but not easy for this inner fatty.

The rest of the week is clean eating FOSHE. I'll let you know how the fat test goes and how depressed I am on a scale of 1 to 10 later on. 10 being mega depressed.

Dinner tonight:
Eggplant strata.

Bed at 9:30.

I set some personal records tonight!

100 lb push press
130 lb front squat

Quite happy with this. It sort of erases the bad feelings about my 1.7% body fat increase. I'm working on getting better quality/ more sleep so hopefully that combined with good clean eating will shed that extra fat and more.

I'm considering doing the sporting life 10k again..but I'm a little worried that its all downhill. My knees aren't good with hills no mo. Perhaps I'll just add some running into my training regime, work on increasing my kms on my own without hills, and even try doing non hot yoga with Reen.

Today was a 100% success in terms of nutrition. Lets keep it up, self.

Saturday January 5

Shit sleep what else is new.

Breakfast:
1 egg pod + mayo
coffee

Crossfit. MA where were you?! wwhyyyyy


A. 6mins of: Muscle-up practice or chin-ups – 1-2 tough reps every 30sec
B. Snatch Grip Deadlift 4×5, rest 2mins - 105#
C. Group Metcon:

For time:
25 pull-ups (I did 20)
50 wall ball
25 toe to bar (20) - sorry it kills my hands
50 KB swings
25 push-ups

Took me like 9 minutes of course I was the last one. There were 5 of us, one girl was new she totally cheated more than I did and finished before me.


So, lunch today at "Raw Aura" in the burbs. I'll report back later.

Three days without sugar, and going strong. I'm not craving it.
Yesterday I did have a banana and an apple though.

Just now, a protein shake:
powder/banana/froz berries/coconutmilk+water

Met the gils at Raw Aura. You know what, it was a great vegan restaurant. Everything we ate was fantastic. We started with a bowl of kale chips, and these were nothing like what you make at home. They were done in a dehydrator so they were crispy and they coated them with a cashew sauce. Half the bowl was 'sour cream and onion' the other half was 'creamy roasted red pepper'. They make the cream with cashews, lime juice, salt, vinegar something like that. I'm gonna try it. I bought a bag to take home. If I can save you some Narine, you have to try them. Next starter was an avocado tartar with "crackers". Basically like an avocado salsa, not runny or anything, but a nice big serving with these dehydrated seed/veg crackers. Fucking fantastic. We killed it.

Then onto the mains: The special of the day was Classic Pad Thai: Zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, lime, cilantro... among other spices and additions, all very easily digested, all paleo if you will. (sans meat of course). The girls both got that, I decided to get what I wouldn't normally get (an occasional rule I use at new restaurants) so I got the Sweet and Sour noodles. Same thing, zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, red peppers, a creamy tangy with a bit of spice creamy almond sauce with roasted almonds on top. Fucking awesome. It was a huge heap of food and I ate every last bite. In fact we all ate every last bite. There was a ginger spice to my dish, it was so so good. It just murdered Fresh. Fresh is a rip and is tasteless compared to Raw Aura. Ladies, we need to go one day, furreal. It's out of the way, but only a half hour drive from my place. Worth it for on Saturday afternoon.

K, dessert time. Since I'm off sugar and emotional and shitty, I didn't get anything sweetened with agave (which was 95% of their desserts), and believe me, there was a lot to choose from. They had truffles, almond bars, a few cakes (mostly made from avocado to give it a velvety cheesecakey type of texture). My only option was the apple crumble, which was sweetened with dates. Yes, not great, but better than agave in my opnion. It contained sliced green apples in a cinnomany light sauce coated in a walnut/date crumble. Amazing. I was so stuffed but I ate it all - What else is new. The ladies each got their own piece of cake (we don't like sharing apparently), Nad got the chocolate avo cake, Lisa got the chocolate banana avocado cake. Both great. Nadia's tasted like it had booze in it, but I think its just the raw cocoa flavouring. Not bad. We all finished with a big mug of tea.

The bill came to 35 bucks each, and I think that's not bad at all. If we had wine it would have been much more of course, but we were being good girls. I should have taken photos, everything was prepared and plated with love, neat and tidy, all freshly made and so so creative. I mean they make the noodles each time you order with one of those vegetable noodlers so everything is guaranteed fresh. I think I need one. They're fantastic, they can slice or noodle things. Can be very handy when you're getting bored of your meat and roasted vegetable dishes. Or if you're a vegetarian, bored of your boiled/pan-fried vegetables and hard boiled eggs- yes I'm looking at you lulz. With this noodler you can make asian inspired meals, pastas.. the possibilities are almost endless. The "cook" was right there behind the bar preparing the meals, and you could see him noodling the zucchinis, seemed fast and easy. Raw Aura sells the noodler for $55 plus tax. I'm gonna look online and see if it's worth it. It might be my new kitchen best friend.

Anyway, if you wanna venture outside the city (not too far, Lakeshore/Hurontario) and you're looking for creative vegan raw meals, try Raw Aura. It's cozy, modern, creative, thoughtful, delicious and friendly - oh and super healthy. You won't be disappointed unless you're boring and don't like trying new things and only eat chicken fingers when you go out. Bye!

Paleo Challenge ROUND THREE

Today is the beginning of health kick/new life/paleo living/crossfitting/no drinking for FIVE WEEKS FUCK YOU.

I'm NOT gonna be making paleo cookies/muffins/breads this round. I realize I just made some pumpkin cookies yesterday but that's it. No more subbing healthy paleo snacks for cookies n muffins n shit. I'm eating straight up real food and getting strong, losing my fat stomach and reducing the circumference of my thunder thighs.  I like juicy thighs and ass but come on. There is a limit here people.

Today I feel like a fatass. I'm bloated, perioding and off my routine. Pootine. I have a ritual in the morning and it's off track from my holidays. So I feel extra bloated right now. Sigh. I also feel like people at work are looking at me thinking I came back looking like a big heffer. I've gained like 5 lbs. I know I sholdn't look at the scale but I did. And I sad.

Sleep was ok. I took some melatonin last night. Meh.

Breakfast:
1.5 eggs omelette w/spinach and mushroom
3 farmers bacon
coffee

At work I'm drinking a shitty coffee and forcing myself to drink this boring glass of water. I just don't feel like drinking water in the morning.

Ok work time. Crossfit later if all goes well.

Pre lunch:
2 pumpkin protein cookies. They're small.

Lunch:
2 eggs/bacon wrapped things
kale
cauliflower steamed

After: 
1 pumpkin cookie. the last one.

Pre-workout:
2 pumpkin cookies- they're proteiny!

Crossfit:

A. Front Squat 3@85#, 2@105#, 1@110#, 3×3-4 @ 95-100#
B. Group Metcon  amrap=as many rounds as possible:

5min amrap: 200m row, 40 double unders (or a number you can complete in 30sec)
2min rest
5min amrap: 10 KB swings to chin level (16kg), 10 DB push press @ 20lb each
2min rest
5min amrap: 2 DB man makers - 15# (I didbn't realize it was only 2.. next time 20#), 8 box jumps



Dinner:
ground meat stir fry with Moroccan spice.

It was a good day, no sugar and I'm good.

Wait, one more pumpkin thing. Eep.

Happy 2013!

Ok It's on. Well, I'm having a glass of wine later with the neighbours but after that THEN it's on. Fuck this shit and fuck my fat belly. I am in search of new delicious paleo recipes and I'm ready to spend my spare time either:

a) at the gym
b) cooking healthy, sustainable meals
c) crocheting or reading a new book

Last night we went out for dinner but before that I roasted a chicken for the week. It turned out fantastic. So much cheaper to just buy a whole chicken (Mennonite raised, hormone/antibiotic-free, btw) It was 15 bucks. Considering if you just want breasts its like 10 bucks for two, I'd say its a good deal. And all you really need to do is pop it in the oven. Here's what I did:

I didn't want the chicken sticking to the pan so I made a bed of carrots and onions. Simple.
I made a rosemary/garlic/salt butter which I smushed under the skin of the breasts (with my hands, I love it) and with the remaining I coated the rest of the chicken. Added more salt and pepper on top. The key to good chicken is salt. Ask Swiss Chalet.

The general rule is cook a whole chicken 20 minutes per pound at 375º. It was a 3 and something pounder so I cooked it for about 75 minutes +. Usually you crank the last 10 minutes to 450º so the skin crisps. But I forgot.

It turned out SOOOO good-best chicken yet. The onion/carrot wasn't meant for eating but they were caramelized in the fat and all nice and crispy, we ate them anyway. That fat juice was so tasty!

So we've got a whole chicken to have for lunches. I also made a creamy kale thing. It's just kale, moroccan spice blend, garlic and coconut milk. All in a sauce pan after the kale has wilted a bit. It turned out creamy and flavourful. Next time I'm making like two big bunches of it cuz kale shrinks down so much it's annoying.

Right now for new years day breakfast I have "egg muffins" in the oven. I lined each cup with half a piece of bacon, put some mushrooms/spinach in each pod. Cracked an egg in each, added salt, pepper, chives and paprika. Easy and I don't have to mind it while it cooks. I'll let you know how that turns out. I was inspired by a recipe someone posted on the "Just Eat Real Food" facebook page. It's not a recipe, there are no rules. Just put things together, no measuring. Chef Michael Smith styles.

Later in the day I made paleo pumpkin cookies. I know I know, why do this? Well I was in a baking mood, I was hungry and didn't wanna dig into chicken. Here was my recipe:

1 cup pumpkin puree

1 cup almond flour

1/4 cup coconut shreds

1/2 tsp baking powder

handful chopped dates

1 tbsp cinnamon

pinch of salt

1 egg

1 scoop protein powder

handful chopped walnuts

half container unsweeetened apple sauce

bake 400º for 20 min. They turned out great. Obv I ate like 6 of them.

Later on we went to the naybs for some wine and cheese. Last night of indulgence. "Monday" is a new day. Monday meaning Wednesday.

YES

tonight is my final official night of th 5 week, Get Real challenge. Basically "Whole 30". Look it up.
I get measured tomorrow. Then in the evening, going out for dinner to celebrate. Well, I'm celebrating anyway, with a glass or two of wine or beer and a delicious Irish pub dinner. This does not mean I want to go back to "normal" eating after tomorrow. It means I know what I should eat, I love crossfit and if I want to improve I must continue. Although I don't want my social life to suffer as much, it is literally depressing. I like going out with my coworkers and friends for some drinks. Kill me for being a normal social being and I'm not 50. I have no kids, I have a career and I'm in good health. Going to live while I can without compromising my fitness/health. Word.

Don't feel like writing all I ate. I just got back from crossfit and I'm making some proteing powder pancakes. I'm flying solo so I'm making whatever pleases me.

Recipe:
1 ripe banana, mine was quite spotty
2 eggs
1 full scoop of whey isolate powder - unflavoured/unsweeted of course
splash of vanilla
1/3 cup ground flax
1/2 tsp baking soda
some shakes of cinnamon - hearty shakes
few dashes nutmeg
few dashes ground allspice
few chugs of salt
splash of coconut milk

whip that up with your whisk.

pan fry on medium. The look like real pancakes, guys. I think I've discovered the BEST "healthy" pancake recipe, no joke. Put butter on them, melt some frozen berries, coconut butter, almond butter. The possibilities are endless and they are amazing. I'm eating all of them.

The final countdown

This is the last work week of the challenge. It's funny, on the weekend I was thinking, I've been living like this for 4 weeks now, I can't see myself going back. I don't want to stop learning new paleo recipes and I don't want to go back to my old ways. I'm ok with never making rice or using dairy in my foods. I will eat cheese and treat myself when I feel a treat is needed and I won't make friends or family adjust their foods when I'm invited over. But everything in my control will be just that  - in my control, and if I feel like eating popcorn and butter one night, I shall. Cuz you know what will happen? I'll poo it out and move on with my life.

I can't wait to have a drink Saturday night. So what. You can't wait to eat ice cream I can't wait to have a drink. Both are vices and I'm not sorry.

My plan is to workout Mon/Tues/Thurs/Sat. Let's try and stick to it, yeah?

Sleep wasn't bad. I had bizarro dreams again.

Breakfast:
2 eggs, 1/4 avocado, salsa, spinach.

Brought with me today:
leftover rogan josh/cauli mash/squash

1 apple

1 orange

some homemade coconut butter.

I plan on eating all of these things.

I dyed my hair on the weekend. I like it, it's a great time for dark hair. It's a semi permanent dye, because I was afraid to commit and I did it from a box (for the first time). Since my hair is short its the best time to experiment with colour - but i'm not bleaching it or highlighting it until it gets longer because bleach causes breakage and I can't afford that when I'm growing it out. I must admit I can't wait til my hair is bob-length. I am having cutters regret, I should have just gotten a shortER haircut and dyed it to satisfy my makeover needs. The good news is, it grows longer each day and I reckon it will be bob-ish by January. I've got a hair appointment in a week and a half and I'll get her to clean up the back but leave the rest.

That is all. Yay mondane.

Pre workout:

cashews and dates - so friggin good i could eat that combo til I feel sick. I'm srs.

Crossfit - felt geeeewwwwwd. Deadlifted 150lb x3. mint.

Dinner:
7 chicken wings, stir fried 1 red pepper/mushrooms, on top of spinachi.