Why I'm Quitting Paleo.

After my horrific (exaggerating) shopping experience, a meat heavy dinner and a relaxing night at home, I came to the decision I am "quitting paleo". It's been just over a year since I've adopted this diet–all on my own, I might add. I've completed two 5 week challenges (voluntarily!) and kept my diet MOSTLY paleo the rest of the time. I've avoided grains, sugars (on and off) and kept my meat/fat/veg intake pretty high. I've gotten my fats from nuts, avocados, healthy oils and animals. I've tried recipes, I've avoided certain social situations and I've cut back on my drinking. Yet here I am, fatter than I was a year ago. I am working out more. I am SO conscious of what I eat, but perhaps to the point of my demise. This obsession with weight loss, this struggle with food is doing no good for my mind or body. I think too much about what I eat, I get stressed out when I "fail" or "cheat", and I truly can't go on living this way. If I look back on my thinner days, you know what? I wasn't even eating paleo. Sure, I don't want sugar in my life daily, I can totally keep that promise. But I can't promise I won't have rice sometimes, quinoa, fucking BREAD here and there. And I DONT wanna feel guilty about it. I want variety in my diet. I want to fucking eat PEANUT BUTTER on my rice cakes in the morning if I have a craving, and I want to do it all without ANY negative feelings. I can't avoid feeling like shit when I gorge on chips or drink my face off. That is my own fault and I can own that (but sometimes it's worth it :). But if I want to make rice pasta one night, I'm going to fucking make it. I want regular potatoes around my roast. I want to make potato wedges sometimes and eat them with ketchup. I miss cheese! MAYBE I want to eat some pad thai. But mostly, I want to increase my raw veg/fruit intake. I am no longer looking at fruit as "bad" or "too much sugar". Fuck that. Fresh fruits and vegetables are beautiful and I will eat them when I FEEL like eating them. Over the past year I have conditioned myself to fear grains, fear "too much fruit", and believe that paleo is the way to go. But you know what? Maybe it's not. Maybe there IS such thing as too much meat/fat. For me. For my body. There is no such thing as a universal diet that works for everyone. Maybe I'm supposed to eat more of a Mediterranean diet? I mean I have roots down there. Maybe That's my thing. NO! I don't want a "thing". I don't want to eat a certain way or label my life. I want to live my life. Enjoy things I enjoy. Eat delicious, nutrient-dense foods. Stay active, physically, mentally, creatively. I don't want to have bad associations with food and I'm sick of guilt. I'm sick of feeling fat and looking at my fat belly in the mirror. Fuck that and fuck your labels. You give your body what it wants, craves, needs. OK not YOU, ME. I am listening to my body from now on and I'm not beating myself up about made-up bad choices. I've decided what I fear and I've created this orthorexic monster, I can own this. But from now on, I will not google whether a food is paleo, or a certain ingredient is paleo. If I want to make a dessert, I will make it to the fullest. Don't get me wrong, I will still make "healthy" treats, I just feel better doing it and like experimenting. But you're god damn right I'm having a piece of cake for a celebration. You're god damn right I'm having some wine with my dinner. Fuck you, eating-style labels, and fuck you internet. (just kidding I love you.)

But here it is.

I am breaking up with paleo. I need a break from this unnecessary stress. I might not look great in a bikini in the summer but what the fuck do you want from my life?! I understand where you come from and I get that it works for lots of people. But I am giving it up for a while, just to see how I feel. See how things go. See if I become lighter in all aspects. It doesn't mean I am pigging out on poutine, it means I am going easy on myself from now on.

What do you think of that?

Saturday January 5

Shit sleep what else is new.

Breakfast:
1 egg pod + mayo
coffee

Crossfit. MA where were you?! wwhyyyyy


A. 6mins of: Muscle-up practice or chin-ups – 1-2 tough reps every 30sec
B. Snatch Grip Deadlift 4×5, rest 2mins - 105#
C. Group Metcon:

For time:
25 pull-ups (I did 20)
50 wall ball
25 toe to bar (20) - sorry it kills my hands
50 KB swings
25 push-ups

Took me like 9 minutes of course I was the last one. There were 5 of us, one girl was new she totally cheated more than I did and finished before me.


So, lunch today at "Raw Aura" in the burbs. I'll report back later.

Three days without sugar, and going strong. I'm not craving it.
Yesterday I did have a banana and an apple though.

Just now, a protein shake:
powder/banana/froz berries/coconutmilk+water

Met the gils at Raw Aura. You know what, it was a great vegan restaurant. Everything we ate was fantastic. We started with a bowl of kale chips, and these were nothing like what you make at home. They were done in a dehydrator so they were crispy and they coated them with a cashew sauce. Half the bowl was 'sour cream and onion' the other half was 'creamy roasted red pepper'. They make the cream with cashews, lime juice, salt, vinegar something like that. I'm gonna try it. I bought a bag to take home. If I can save you some Narine, you have to try them. Next starter was an avocado tartar with "crackers". Basically like an avocado salsa, not runny or anything, but a nice big serving with these dehydrated seed/veg crackers. Fucking fantastic. We killed it.

Then onto the mains: The special of the day was Classic Pad Thai: Zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, lime, cilantro... among other spices and additions, all very easily digested, all paleo if you will. (sans meat of course). The girls both got that, I decided to get what I wouldn't normally get (an occasional rule I use at new restaurants) so I got the Sweet and Sour noodles. Same thing, zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, red peppers, a creamy tangy with a bit of spice creamy almond sauce with roasted almonds on top. Fucking awesome. It was a huge heap of food and I ate every last bite. In fact we all ate every last bite. There was a ginger spice to my dish, it was so so good. It just murdered Fresh. Fresh is a rip and is tasteless compared to Raw Aura. Ladies, we need to go one day, furreal. It's out of the way, but only a half hour drive from my place. Worth it for on Saturday afternoon.

K, dessert time. Since I'm off sugar and emotional and shitty, I didn't get anything sweetened with agave (which was 95% of their desserts), and believe me, there was a lot to choose from. They had truffles, almond bars, a few cakes (mostly made from avocado to give it a velvety cheesecakey type of texture). My only option was the apple crumble, which was sweetened with dates. Yes, not great, but better than agave in my opnion. It contained sliced green apples in a cinnomany light sauce coated in a walnut/date crumble. Amazing. I was so stuffed but I ate it all - What else is new. The ladies each got their own piece of cake (we don't like sharing apparently), Nad got the chocolate avo cake, Lisa got the chocolate banana avocado cake. Both great. Nadia's tasted like it had booze in it, but I think its just the raw cocoa flavouring. Not bad. We all finished with a big mug of tea.

The bill came to 35 bucks each, and I think that's not bad at all. If we had wine it would have been much more of course, but we were being good girls. I should have taken photos, everything was prepared and plated with love, neat and tidy, all freshly made and so so creative. I mean they make the noodles each time you order with one of those vegetable noodlers so everything is guaranteed fresh. I think I need one. They're fantastic, they can slice or noodle things. Can be very handy when you're getting bored of your meat and roasted vegetable dishes. Or if you're a vegetarian, bored of your boiled/pan-fried vegetables and hard boiled eggs- yes I'm looking at you lulz. With this noodler you can make asian inspired meals, pastas.. the possibilities are almost endless. The "cook" was right there behind the bar preparing the meals, and you could see him noodling the zucchinis, seemed fast and easy. Raw Aura sells the noodler for $55 plus tax. I'm gonna look online and see if it's worth it. It might be my new kitchen best friend.

Anyway, if you wanna venture outside the city (not too far, Lakeshore/Hurontario) and you're looking for creative vegan raw meals, try Raw Aura. It's cozy, modern, creative, thoughtful, delicious and friendly - oh and super healthy. You won't be disappointed unless you're boring and don't like trying new things and only eat chicken fingers when you go out. Bye!