Thursday, January 31, 2013


Almost weekend. GO GO GO.

Sleep was not great, I should have gone to bed earlier. Also that tea before bed made me have to pee in the night. Je n'aime pas.

I wish I could go to the gym tonight, but I need to go and socialize with work. The bausses are in town and taking us all out. It would be rude and non-participanty not to. I'll go Friday night like a loner instead.

And Saturday to make sure I get in 3X.

2 eggs omelette w/red pepper and goat cheese.

chilli, spinach

banana/pumpk butter

Went to pub with work, looking back, I should have gone home and gone to the gym. Noted for future. Not because I didn't enjoy myself but because I drank wine and ate unhealthy pub crap. Tastey, but not good for me. Huge fail, and on top of that, I had THE WORST SLEEP. I fell asleep at like 11 only to wake up at (what I thought was like 4am) then I finally looked at the clock after tossing and turning for at least an hour and it was 2:48am. This is a good thing and a bad thing for insomniacs. Good because it seems like you have an opportunity to get a good ish night's sleep, bad because if you can't get back to sleep you're lying there for like 5 more hours. This time, it was bad. I didn't fall back asleep til after 5am and my alarm went off at 6:15. Cool. I read a bit when I realized it was only 2, but it didn't help.

I drank 3 9oz glasses of pinot which I made into spritzers. The alcohol effected my sleep, also the food. Oh, when I got home I ate popcorn.

I didn't stuff myself or anything at the pub, but I ate bits of fried garbage. Not cool. Today, I am going to be perfect and force myself to the gym tonight despite my fatigue.

This weekend will be a mega chill weekend. Perhaps I'll start a new crochet project.

2 hard boiled eggs, almonds

At work:

Sushi like last week. This is the last time.
Wakame salad
1x4" pancake with butter. It was good. I love plain pancakes with just butter.

some broccoli stir fry from the other night. One of the bites tasted nasty.
Then.. 1 timbit. ouch.

Crossfit, hit 125# for front squats. But I was starting to feel that shit sleep from last night. Slowed me down. I decided to try out the "Iqbal" place in the plaza. Got Butter chicken + rice for dinner, from someone's reco. It came to 14 bucks and it was a rip off. Hardly any chicken, mostly buttery sauce. I like my indian food with more zing, that was very tame. I wouldn't get it again, perhaps some beef another time. I didn't eat the whole thing, I went easy on the sauce but ate all the chicken bits. The rice was really good. I've gone buck wild with rice today, clearly. Today and yesterday have been a write off. Well, Tomorrow is a new day, the challenge begins. Right MA?? Def going to gym in the morns.

Coronation Street and maybe a movie. Jamie is out tonight, I'm a bachelorette.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Sleep wasn't great, what else is new.

Woke up later than I wanted to, and in order to get to work at 9, I had to take a cab. Otherwise I would have arrived at like 9:15. but ended up waiting anyway. Noying.

I don't know how much longer I can take this mundane, grey and gloomy time. seriously. It also doesn't help that I'm not the 'starving' type of depressive. I'm the opposite. And putting on weight only makes me more depressed, so try and get me outta this one why don't you?

chicken sausage, handful almonds, spinach, cheddar

at work
grande coffee, 4 pieces dark chocolate (emo eating)

I'd say I'm going to crossfit tonight but every time I do, I get stuck doing something and miss it by the most annoyingly small amount of time. Some people have children to go home to, some people have dogs, I have my crossfit. It's my balance, it's my after work thing and I wish it could be respected in the same way. But it's not living and breathing and to some it's not relevant. However, missing it affects my well-being, and it reflects in my daily life. Not exercising at this time is extremely unhealthy for both my physical and mental health.

sausage, eggplant, spinach with avo oil.
apple, half with pumpk butter

kale chips, "chive" flavour. These are raw, vegan, healthy chips. Although I know I shouldn't eat them I did anyway. And I paid later. Sigh.

Pre CF:
almonds, 3 dates

Crossfit. It was good, needed.

2 hard boiled eggs, sauteed broccoli/garlic/tahini sauce Julie made on the weekend.

Delicious but I had those stomach pains again, mega gas pains. Not cool.

Before bed: rooibos tea.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

You know what I miss? Toast. That thin, dense, farmer's rye bread we used to get. Mmmm that with avocado is so good. *tear*

Some guys on BT right now are talking about how important breakfast is. No one's surprised.

Sleep was meh, I woke up a couple times, not sure why.

Didn't feel like meat or eggs.
mixed berries, 1/2 banana, bit of coconut, bit of sunflower seeds and dried blueberries? raisins? bit of tahini, bit of honey, coconut milk, cinnamon. Sounds like a lot but when I mean a bit, I mean a BIT. like a teaspoon (less for the honey). It was good, I get sick of eating meat in the morning sometimes. The thought of chewing on roast beef wasn't appetizing.

Banana sandwich:
1/2 banana, cut in half lengthwise, pumk seed butter and honey in the middle. It was good. P-seed butter tastes most like peanut butter out of all the butters. I like this, I think I'll make my own.

Chicken sausage, eggplant, tomato. I'm keeping away from pork for now.


I need to slice up some carrots for snacks this week, too much fruit happening.

Fingers crossed I can hit CF tonight and tomorrow. "Drinks" with work is happeing Thurs. Guess who is drinking soda water?!

Hey guess what I didn't make it to Crossfit, missed it by like 15 minutes. I love that. Who cares about my life balance and what I need in order to feel 'normal'.

leftover roast beef, spinach salad. goat cheese/almonds.

2 rice cakes, pb and honey.

i got my period and i don't feel well.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Whatever. It's Monday. Over it.

Sleep was shit. Basically I'm still hungover and feel queasy. Drinking green tea like a mofo and trying to consume as many antioxidants as I can.

2 eggs, mushrooms, bit of cheese, blueberries

At work:
bit of pumpkin seed butter. like less than a teaspoon.

leftover rosbif, cauli mash, carrots/sweet potato.

Guys, I'm not even looking or thinking about unnecessary snacking. I just need this anxious feeling/nausea to go away. I'm doing whole 30 again. Maybe 30+, and when is this challenge starting?! I need it. I need that motivation and competition.

My legs are still sore from Saturday's workout and I have a big painful bruise on my shoulder from.. I DONT KNOW! probably falling into the tub in my drunken state. Rock bottom, guys.
My back is sore, I need a massage again.

apple, half with pump seed butter
last bit of roast beef and cauli.

I decided to not go to the gym tonight. I'm in need of a good night's sleep, I'm poopy, I don't want to eat late and my upper back hurts. I think its from Saturday's workout, but who knows. Maybe it's from hugging the bowl Saturday night or falling back into the tub. The bruise on my shoulder is a delightful reminder of that. I cancelled my Wed hair appointment so I'll go Tues/Wed/Fri. Maybe Sat am if I'm feeling ambitious.

Pre dinner:
few rice crackers, cheddar cheese

chicken sausages, roasted eggplant and tomatoes.

For Shame.

I'm not even going to address nutrition right now. This weekend was bad. Well, mainly last night was bad. Me and 3 close girlfriends went to see Soundgarden - a dream since they split up in the 90s. Concert began at 8, so I had them over for some snacks and drinks beforehand. I'll just get to the point. I got blackout drunk. There was barfing, there was stumbling and I don't know how I made it thru the night without getting kicked out or punched in the face. I was that annoying drunk person pushing through the crowd to get to the front. When, as a mature adult, I should have arrived earlier and got to the front in an honest way. Nope. Not this drunk fool. I drank more than half a bottle of whiskey. STRAIGHT. Before we left. Plus half a bottle of wine. Maryann's wine that she brought over. For the record, I haven't been drunk like that in years. I barfed of course, and not in the toilet. I was disgusting. And you know the worst part? I don't remember the concert much. I totally ruined that experience for myself and I can't ever get it back. I never intended to get that blasted at all, I just kept swigging back those whiskeys and then had a beer at the concert. One beer? 2? I don't know. I'm embarrassed and that will never ever happen again. EVER. I will not let alcohol ruin any more life experiences for me anymore. Fuck it. I am upset with myself, I'm angry and sad that it happened. I'm just glad I was with close friends. If I was alone, I don't know how I would have gotten home, and to be honest, if I lived alone I probably would have died by choking on my own vomit or something gross. I'm genuinely surprised I didn't have alcohol poisoning. Maybe I should have, then I wouldn't touch the stuff again.

So, how was the concert? I don't fucking know. And I'm sad about it, have no one to blame but myself.

Friday, January 25, 2013


Sleep was baaad. I blame the wine and random foods I ate.

paleo pancakes - 3 eggs, pecan flour, vanilla, apple sauce, coconuts, cinnamon, protein powder, fried in ghee. Jamie and I split them.

Snack at work:
Coffee and half a sweet potato w/sp

4 salmon, 1 tuna, 1 red snapper Sushi, 3 california rolls + wakame salad
LOVE wakame salad.
Sounds like alot but wasn't really.

Crossfit tonight, chill tomorrow.

Aft Snack:
pretzels, 1 cider.

Bailed on CF because of the weather.

Butternut squash soup, 1 pepperette
rice crackers

popcorn with butter

whiskey x2

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Lesson learned - ALLERGIES

I have incredible gas happening right now in my gut. Fuuuuuuck eating big dense whole wheat/oat/whatever cookies ever again. Who do I think I am?! I desp want to take my pants off right now. Going for dinner which might not help but I'll just kill this day off.

Things I must avoid:

  • kale
  • cabbage
  • soy
  • onions in all forms. raw cooked whatever.
  • garlic. Not cool. 
  • whole wheat - white bread, we're cool. I can do baguettes. without suffering.
  • OATS.
  • Pork. I'm sorry, it's over between us. Bacon is the exception.
  • chickpeas, lentils, all that shit. no way, fart city.
  • BEER. Ok, let's get real here, I am not avoiding beer forever. I can avoid those foods easier than I can avoid a nice beer.
  • Cumin, are we in a fight? Chilli powder? who's the culprit here?!

We went out for dinner to a "tappas" place down the street. Cute. Lots of beer on tap, even a cider. We'll have to go there for dranks one day, my friends, then come back to ours and drink more. My stomach was already bloated and hurting from (most likely) the stupid cookie I had earlier. That's the only thing I ate that was out of the ordinary and boy did I pay for it later.

Dinner consisted of the following:

  • Cheese block, with dried fruits and such. ok.
  • foccacia - let me add that white bread doesn't effect me like whole wheat, but I don't think it helped the situation
  • some veg slaw - it had cabbage in it
  • calamari - whole cloves of garlic were involved. garlic is finicky with me, I think all around it's a no-no. UNFORTCH. it was in a mayo-y sauce, which doesn't concern me.
  • 1 rib - pork! bad.
  • mushroom/truffle risotto - no regrets. maze.
So, my gas pains were from my earlier meals, but my dinner didn't help. Note to self, avoid all things on that list above. I had trouble breathing properly on our walk home because my stomach was so bloated that my diaphragm hurt whenever I breathed out. - and it was hard like a big beer belly. SEXY. I could only breathe in comfortably. Once I got home, took off my pants and let it all "out" I felt a bit better. I have a feeling tonight's sleep will be terrible. FOSHE hitting up crossfit tomorrow. Killing the gym 4X this week mos def. AND maybe Sat morning. Who am I?? Beast mode gyal, that's who.


Sleep was garb, just garb. Very light, tossing and turning and I can't blame anxiety. I think I needed a sweet potato or something. So I had one for breakfast, well half.

2 eggs, spinach, 1/2 sweet potato w/ghee

squash soup

handful almonds, 4 dates
stupid cookie from coffee shop. the ingredient list didn't include sugar but I'm skeptical. It wasn't overly sweet but.. it wasn't NOT sweet. Still, FAIL. Look at me mkaing poor food decisions DAILY. oops chips.


Taking a rest day from CF, having innocent tea with my healthy friend. Red wine is innocent too.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


How many more years until retirement?

Sleep was good but I kept waking up when I turned over. Je n'aime pas. But I was in bed for over 8 hours, and I think I was asleep for a good portion of that.

2 eggs, 1/4 cup ish of shredded pork carnita, spinach, salsa

Menu today:
Chilli, spinach
apple, pumpkin seed butter on HALF
Carrots (2 large)
handful almonds / 4 dates
Handful Miss Vickis chips. Fail.

Piece of a chocolate cookie.


A. Bench Press 3×1@80# 1×4@# (90% of 1RM), rest 2.5mins
B. Deadlift 5@70%, 3@80%, 1@90%, 8@75% (of 150#)
C1. GHD GH Raise 4×6 [2014], rest 45sec
C2. Bent-over Single Arm DB Row with 2sec pause at top, 4×6-8side, rest 45s / 20's
C3. Front Step-up 4×10/side, rest 45s / 25s#

Post workout: protein smoothie with banana/berries/coconut milk/water/flax seeds

Good workout, took longer than I'd anticipated. And there was hardly anyone there. YAY WINTER.

Made a buttercup squash soup when I got home. Jamie cooked the squash while I was out so it was ready to go. We used homemade chicken broth. Look at us hippies!!

3 carrots
3 garlic cloves
coconut oil
1 bug buttercup squash
bout 4 cups broth
1 can coconut milk

Cook. Blend. Tastes fantast. Buttercup squash is the bomb, btw. So sweet and dense. Gotsta buy more often.

Proud that I went to CF three days in a row. :)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013


sleep was ok, I had to pee but chose to resorb.

you know what? I didn't feel like fucking eating meat! or eggs! suck it.
1 rice cake, peanut butter + 1/2 banana, coffee

Menu Today:


carnitas / spinach / tomato

Apple+pumpk seed butter

Crossfit f'sho

Chilli+spinach or broc. TBD

It's ccccold today!!!

Some S&V chips. VICE!

I think I'm getting my period cuz i am a garbage can right now.

I can't eat kale. It's been decided. It gives me uncomfortable gas in my intestines. OUT.

K I want to eat lentils. I miss them. After googling vegetarian recipes for Narine cuz she refuses to do so, I've decided I need to make a lentil dish. So good.


A. Front Squat 3×1.1.1, rest 10sec inside cluster, rest 2.5mins between sets. 115#
B. RDL 3×6-8, rest 2mins between sets 115# I don't think I did my first 2 sets properly.. I always get it mixed up with the DL movement. RDLs are pivoted at the hip, DL's involve legs lifting the barbell... right?

30KB swings 16kg for the first 2, then I switched to the 12kg (too easy) because I was losing my grip. Then I switched back to 16kg cuz I found the thinner handled one. Noted.
15 burpees - FML
as many double unders as possible in remaining time - Please note I hate jumping.

Monday, January 21, 2013


It just keeps on happening. Monday.

My sleep was meh.

I'm considering incorporating some veg meals into my diet. Like lentils for protein, perhaps to reduce caloric intake. I know it's not great to count calories, but sometimes it matters. I know I can't do a full-on vegetable meal, let's face it I need protein so maybe I'll try lentils out again. Considering it's been over a year since I've gotten into CF and I'm not friggin solid, perhaps paleo doesn't work for me. I was thinking about even making rice.. but maybe I'll do a lentil curry over cauli rice. Lentils are good, no? Millions of people eat them, and not all fattys. We'll see. No harm in trying, if it gives me mega gas then I'll know it's a no-no. Things that give you gas are things you shouldn't eat.

2 eggs, mushrooms, salsa

I wasn't very hungry this morning but I ate anyway. I know that I'll be super hungry at work and I'll make a poor choice. I'm cutting back on avocados and nut butters.

on the menu today:
chilli/cauli mash

Snacks include:
carrot "cake" ball
some banana 'brownie' from Kensington. It's essentially a little dense bar of dried condensed banana. Low cal, low sugar, only ingredient: banana. weird.

kale chips - Live Organic brand. Good.


A. Push Press 4×3@90%, rest 2-2.5mins
B1. Shoulder Press 3×5, rest 0sec
B2. Chin-ups 3×3-6, rest 90sec
C. Group Metcon
3 sets:
30sec cals airdyne or row
90sec rest
30sec battling ropes
30sec knee to elbow

carnitas and spinach

I feel like I have five chins today. Am I PMSing??! This is too much. Having tea then going to bed.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Saturday was a bad day for food. I drank the night before so waking up on time for my 9am gym class was not gonna happen. I woke up at 9 then was mad that I missed my class by such a small amount of time. I ate the last bit of my leftover burrito from Milagros. It was amazing. Then I ate some of the leftover avo/jicama/pineapple salad. Then I ate some chips. Then chocolate.

This is all because of the alcohol and baked treats we had last night. See, if you do this type of careless eating once a week, you will never lose a pound. In fact, I probably gained weight despite my exercise and good eating. It's the extra calories and sugar that just stick to fat that makes this a negative experience. I've decided that as little as eating out ONCE a week will hinder weight loss and/or make you gain weight. Think of all those unknown sugars and calories in the meals you don't prepare. Fat people eat out once a week or more. Fact.

After my crappy binging I got groceries and made a carrot cake to take to my aunt's. It was a 'regular' cake made with flour and cream cheese icing. It was pointed out that if I made a paleo dessert that I was just catering to my own tastes and needs which is selfish so I made a generic carrot cake to please others. But I had leftover grated carrots so I made paleo carrot cake balls for my fucking self to eat later:

6 dates
ground almonds/pecans
splash of coconut milk which wasn't necessary since carrots are juicy naturally.
blend. coat in coconut. put in fridge. yum.

I ate a few. they were fantastic.

Dinner at aunt's:
some cheese, wine, olives
steak, cauli mash, brussels sprouts, baguette with butter
carrot cake and decaf americano for dessert.

stomach killed, I ate too much.


Sleep was ok, we watched The Impossible and I think it gave me nightmares. It was terrifying and to think it is all true. So fucked. Nature is powerful and I don't know how anyone survived that tsunami at all.

3 carrot cake balls
2.5 scrambled eggs
1 pep stick

I'm making chilli for dinner, with cauli mash and probably roasted carrots. I make them like the recipe in Well Fed. There is cinnamon on them. Good.

I signed up for the 3.30 hot yoga class. I'm going, fuckit. I feel like a fatass and need some form of activitiy that doesnt involve the cold wind outside.

Currently preparing my Sunday cookup. This way I have no excuses buying food this week, also I can crush the gym every night and not have to worry about preparing dinner. Maybe I'll make salmon one night, but that's quick and simple oven-baking. All my sides will be spinach or broccoli.. good vegetables.

This week's lunches and maybe dinners:
Chlli with cauli mash and carrots - I said this earlier.

Pork carnitas - can eat those with broccoli/spinach or whatever I want.

There. Few hours on a Sunday saved me loads of stress and poor eating this week. This is what Sundays are for, when you are conscious and obsessed with delicious, healthy food and fitness. Ain't nothing free, homey. Now I have time to hit the gym, have a bath after and eat a yum dinner. Perf.

Hot yoga, 90 minutes.

WF chocolate chilli, cauli mash
snacked on some tortillas before

While watching Lost, I ate a bag of Popchips. Salt and vinegar. Why did I buy these? Oh yes, they were 2 for 4 bucks. Ate the whole bag. 85g.

Later, carrot cake.

I need to start not eating.

Friday, January 18, 2013


Wow this week flew but didn't feel like it at the time.

Sleep was semi-shite. Slight insomnia but not as bad as the other night. I'll take what I can get.

(we have no food/eggs)
blueberries/coconut/ground pecan/fewalmonds/cacao nibs/coconut milk/cinnamon
random concoction, it was a bit bitter but my other options were a banana-less smoothie, a sausage or a piece of salmon. Meh.

We only have one bathroom and I'm about to explode.


salmon/vegetables/1/4 avocado

I'm too sensitive today. The sound of teeth scraping on fork gives me goosebumps. Equal to the sound of chalkboard scratching. I just picture teeth getting ruined/a feeling of biting foil. It is far too quiet in the office today and I need a dessert. Also never talk to me with a mouth full of banana. Worst nightmare.

That link about teeth scraping I find amusing, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. My brother used to do it, for all I know he still does. My mom used to tell him it's rude, and it's bad etiquette. #truth. Also what's with the soup slurping. Fucking gross, man. My mom used to say you're supposed to slurp your soup, but I don't believe it. It's obnoxious. This website is entertaining, I was just reading up on greedy wedding stories, tacki wedding 'fundraisers' and such. Where to these people have the nerve?! Also, I went to a wedding like 2 years ago, gave a cash gift and never received a thank you letter. These people aren't that close with us but we thought, hey, they thought to invite us, why not go. And heard NOTHING. I truly hope the note was lost in the mail.

Thursday, January 17, 2013


Sleep wasn't bad, surprisingly. Just not enough as per uje.

protein smoothie, paleo brownie, coffee

At work:
1 dark choc ferrero rocher. Meh. hit the spot I guess.

sausage, broccoli, sweet potato
some peanuts/coated peanuts - fail.

All I can smell is curry right now. I think it stuck to my clothes. I don't love yellow curry.

Crossfit tonight. This is happening. Now I have to go Saturday morning at 9am to make my 3xwk quota. Thrilled.

I said I might not run anymore, but I think I might have to. I think I need to burn more calories. I've been working out for over a year and a half, yes my muscles have grown, but I still feel fadge. If only it wasnt winter. FML.

Some doritos. What? They weren't even my favourite kind.

Pre workout, healthy brownie.


A. Front Squat 4×2-3, rest 2-3mins - 120#, pretty impressed since that was my 1RM last attempt. Not impressed with the fat on my body though. Need to reduce calories.
B. Group Metcon:

4 sets:
row 400m, rest 3-5mins
averaged 1:29, then declined to 1:39 each.

salmon, red pepper/mushroom/onion stir fry.
seasoned salmon with butter and Ras Hanout spice. Flavoured stir fry with ginger, garlic, balsamic vinegar and ceyenne. Awesome.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wens day

Sleep much better. Oops I forgot to mention I resorted to alcohol to ensure I fell asleep last night, I had 2 vodka sodas. Shrug. Bad day.

smoothie, no time.

Bite of cashew butter

some leftover greek tomato/cucumber salad/feta/olives

Went and bought stuff at Zara.

Lunch #2:
hamburger on lettuce from Sense Appeal. Good. Some of NA's veggie curry.

3 squares 85% dark choc. Only 4g of sugar hollaa.

Crossfit tonight.

Didn't happen, I had to work on something last minute so I didn't get home on time. Not ok with that.

Sausage, sweet potato, broccoli., homemade mayo.
1 beer

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Sleep was null and void.

crispy bacon, eggs, bit of brownie, coffee

On the menu for today:
leftover spaghetti squash/meat sauce

Def too tired for CF, I'll go tomorrow. Need some proper sleep to recover.

When I'm super tired I eat poorly. I ate some chocolate. No-sugar fail, pick up again today and move onwards. I also had some Miss Vicki's SV chips. Just potato right? haha

2 tomatoes, bits I picked off a chicken carcass (yum!), some bacon, avocado, balsamic, hot sauce.
Love that shit.

We watched "Flight". Holy fucking scary (the first bit of the plane crash). If you didn't know, I'm not a great flyer. I get anxious, sweaty and scared on planes. Not the entire time, just during takeoff, landing and turbulance. If I'm drunk, I'm ok, or on some anxiety pills I'm fine. But I always think that: If Im on a plane, no matter what, it's for a good reason. Either I'm going somewhere awesome or coming back somewhere awesome. It's exciting getting on planes because of the adventure ahead, but scary thinking that if something goes wrong, you're 100% fucked. But I must remember, its safer up there than on the streets every day. And I would never let that 'fear' stop me from life experience, that I know. The rest of the movie is (spoiler alert) essentially about alcholism and how cocaine sobers you up. I'm serious. So if you're ever smashed and need to get into shape for, say, a court appearance, just do some lines.

Oh, we had popcorn with butter during the movie. Safe popcorn, but you know, it's technically not allowed.

When is the challenge happening? Not this week that's for sure. If it starts concert night, I'll have to start the following day.

This week is dragging.

Monday, January 14, 2013



Sleep was meh.


2 eggs, mushrooms, 1/3 avocado.

chicken leg, carrots.

Hoping to CF tonight.

apple/cash butter

Pre workout
bite of paleo brownie


A1. Push Press 6×2, rest 30sec - 80#
A2. Chins-up 6×1-3, rest 90-120s - purple
My barbell tipped over because I didn't take the weights off evenly. Totally could have smashed someone's head in. I'm lucky no one got hurt, it was embarrassing and I felt terrible about it. Why would I do that?! Helloooo gravity!! Science!

3min amrap: 5 burpees, 10 KB swings
1min rest
3min amrap: 5 pull-ups, 10 ball slams
1min rest
3min amrap: 20 double unders, 10 push-ups

I did a shit job for the metcon because I was still thinking about my accident. Put me in a bad mood.

meat sauce/spaghet squash at 930. too late. couldn't fall asleep til after THREE AM. FUCK ME.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Brown knees

I'm making brownies right now. See what happens when you binge on sugar/alcohol? The next day is pure anxiety and cravings. The brownies are flourless and 'paleo', if you will. So a little less guilt is involved. Here is my botched recipe:

1/2 cup tahini
1/2 cup pumpkin puree, or other squash, canned or steamed
1/2 cup almond flour
1 little apple sauce cup
1/2 cup raw cacao powder, or unsweetened cocoa powder
1 egg
1 tsp honey
1 tsp maple syrup
4-5 dates, soaked in hot water for 1 minute to soften
1 tsp baking soda
dash of sea salt

in oven, 350º, 20 minutes. Nope. not 20 minutes because I just checked the centre and its mush. I'll give it another 10.

They turned out pretty good. They're almost all gone.

Roasted menonite chicken w/cauli mash, carrots, onions. So good.

watched the Golden Globes.

I just tried opening a link to a video of his acceptance and got some nice p0rn popups AT WORK. Awesome.

Weekend: no hyphen required.

Sausage and 1 egg for breakfast.

I was super lazy on Saturday. I took melatonin on Friday night and it makes me groggy and emotional the following day. Not taking them anymore. I also had 2 beers Friday. There goes my no alcohol "challenge". Fail. Meh.

But I managed to drag myself out of bed to take advantage of the abnormally high temperature outside. I went for a run. 4.75km though, not my usual 5.5km. I had to cut it short because my "bad" knee started hurting about 2km in so I turned around and headed home. I don't want a knee injury preventing me from doing squats n things at the gym. Are my running days over? I blame the hill I ran down on Woodbine. Hills = sore knees. Fact of running. I iced my knee when I got back, but it was really sore. Fuck. Today its fine. It doesn't help that I hadn't run in a while then just went for it. I decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt. At first I was like why the fuck am I outside in shorts and a t shirt but eventually I warmed up. But because I wanted to warm up fast, I ran fast at first. That probably didn't help my knee either. I think I'll try and hit up hot yoga this week... I need a good stretch and the warmth will be good for my joints.

We went to the burbs to my parents' for dinner. Chips were had. Wine was had. Roast beef dinner was eaten and so was... wait for it... CAKE. My mom made a cute vanilla cake from scratch so naturally Imma eat my moms friggin cake. It was amazing. No regrets. Then I proceeded to drink more booze out for a friends birthday. MEGA fitness fail. I woke up hungover, and feeling like shit any day of the weekend isn't worth it anymore. Weekends are precious, there is always stuff to do and sleeping half the day because of a hangover SUCKS. I need groceries, there is laundry to do, cleaning.... domestic healthy adult stuff to do. I may walk to the butcher's just to get a last bit of this spring air before it turns to garbage winter tomorrow.

2 eggs, 1 sausage. coffee.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Friday Day Lights

Sleep wasn't best, but not too shit. I had sad/scary nightmares. I don't care to share them today.

bits of a stuffed red pepper.. probably not even half.
few bits of my hard cashonut butter. mm.

I'm at work, drinking a coffee and I'm hungry. I'm not prepared today for food. There is a chicken leg in the fridge, that's it.

Looking forward to working out tonight.

Chicken leg.
kale chips - not nearly as good as the ones I got from Raw Aura.

There is client food here. I'm hoping to eat some of those beets. I avoided the chocolate and chocolate covered cookies that were available. Not worth the shitty sugar crash afterwards. Sugar = depression.

Snacks later:
nuts/seeds and the rest of those boring kale chips

Dodged booze although I really wanted more of that prosecco. Maybe I'll have some drinks tonight who knows.

mmmmdunno. Hitting up CF after work. We have no food.

few spoons of cashonut butter


A. Back Squat 4×2@85-90%, rest 2.5mins  - 135#
B. Bench Press 3×5, 1x10 all at 80%, rest 2-3mins  - 70# - I think I've got the hang of proper bench form. finally.
C1. GH Raise 3×8, rest 60s - love this thing, feels good on my hamstrings/ass
C2. powel raise 3×8/side, rest 60s  / 8s/10s

sausage, broccoli, beer. - fail. cutting things out sucks

Thursday, January 10, 2013


This week is flying, thank gad.

Sleep was awful. what the fuck am I doing wrong? It was impossible to fall asleep, i probably actually fell asleep at like 2am. FML.

But looks like I stayed in a deep sleep for a while though, consistently. I wonder if it was the magnesium I took as a last resort for my insomnia or if I was just exhausted? The lawd only knows.

pumpkin/blueberry slop I invented. It was meh, but we're out of eggs.

at work
like 3 or 4 fudge baby balls. Done with that, they're too good.

1/4 chicken, veggies, potatoes from Fresh n Wild. Still have another 1/4 to eat for tomorrow. I'll have it as a snack or sommat.

apple w/cashew butter. Meh, I'm over cashew butter. 

Got a nice massage after work, she really worked those muscles. She also said she can feel that they're toned. WIN.

1/2 stuffed red pepper, 1/4 avocado. I made some cashew/coconut butter, my fave - I made it cuz the cashews i got from bulk barn tasted like nothing so I pan toasted them and made butter. It's good. 

I'm drinking a glass of port right now, the last of it. Alcohol fail. OH, I might have had a glass and a half of prosecco before the massage. I'm rebelling right now. Since it doesn't seem to matter what the fuck I do, my sleep is garbage. So, tonight I:m drinking my wine. Fuck you.

Tomorrow night I'm crossfitting. Saturday it's supposed to be nice out so I'm going running. Furreal.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


Sleep was bad. I blame the glass of prosecco I had at 5pm. Then the evening fudge babies. Sugar/cocoa keeps me up, also I didn't workout.

Disruptive sleep, see?

1 sausage, some sweet potatoes

2 lara balls - delish

cinnamon beef stew/spaghet squash

apple, cash butter.

Pre workout:
a bite of my slow cooked stuffed peppers. YUM.

A. Front Squat 5×3@85-88%, rest 2-3mins - 5Xempty bar, 5x65, 5x85, 3x5@105#
5 sets:
150m row or 15cals airdyne
10 burpees as fast as possible
Rest 3mins

Took me 19+ minutes. It's the burpees, I'm slow.

stuffed pepper. delish.

I wasn't satisfied so I had a bowl of this at about 9:30
blueberries, pumpkin, coconut, coconut milk, cinnamon, almond, cashew, cocnut milk

the first bite was gross but it was good after lol

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Twoz Day

I used the Sleep Cycle app to see how my sleep pattern is. It tracks your sleep stages, by movement and tells you when in the night you were in a deep sleep or not. Also it waits til you are in a lighter stage of sleep to wake you up. Pretty cool, I'll try it out for a week. According to the chart, I was in a deep sleep like four times, have a look:

It's neat. I wish it was a solid low line the entire time. That would be a dream come true. I like the little notches in the beginning and end of me stirring. But it looks like I toss/turn each hour...Interesting. I'd like to see my graph on a drunk night. If it would actually be a dead line or not. Haha.

banana pancakes:
1 banana, 2 eggs, half scoop protein powder, vanilla, cinnamon
had with pb and butter. yum.

apple/cashew butter

sausage / collards / sweet potato

I am craving things.

three lara balls
small can tuna
1 tomato
1/2 avocado
cauli rice

Monday, January 7, 2013

Mondane Jan 7

Sleep was ok, not bad but I had trouble waking up at a decent time.

2 eggs, 3 bacon, coffee

At work:

There is a Ferrero Rocher on my desk, ignoring.

Apple w/ cashew butter.

leftover stew/spaghet squash + half an avo

carrots and half avo. mega avo fat day. Oh well, I had sweet cravings (a few friggin chocolates on my desk) and there is no way I'm caving right now. So I ate the carrots and avocado, all bitter-like.

I may be OD-ing on the (good) fats but fuck, nothing is satisfying. Plain carrots is nothing and is a waste of crunching. I know these fats are calorie dense, but seriously, what else will curb that craving? Do I start making 'paleo' goodies? but then there is sugar in them (natural ones but still ya know?)

Pre workout:
kale chips - dehydrated and coated with a nutritional yeast/cashew/red pepper flavour. Fucking good, man. I think I need a dehydrator. Want.

A1. Push Press 4×5, rest 60s  /  70#
A2. Chins-up 4×4-8, rest 90-120s
B. Shoulder Press 2×5-8, rest 120s  /  55#

Metcon - 2 rounds:
3min amrap: 5 DB thrusters @ 35% 1RM push press (20# each), 5 pull-ups, 30 double unders
2mins rest
3min amrap: 150m row or 12cals airdyne, 10 ball slams (15# - wimpy)

2mins rest

Toulouse sausage, sweet potato, collard greens sauteed.

Sunday Jan 6

Sleep was good.

pumpkin pancakes: pumpkin, eggs, protein powder, almond flour, cinnamon, bake soda, salt, vanilla, apple sauce. Ate it with butter/tahini/applesauce. good.

lara bar

Made cinnamon beef stew for dinner, had it over spaghetti squash. I drank an Oakhouse beer with it. I was craving beer, and I caved. I can dodge sugar, but avoiding a nice beer or glass of wine is torture. TOR-TURE. I need balance in my life, its so friggin hard choosing health/fitness over satisfaction. Oh well, still haven't had sugar although alcohol technically IS a sugar. Onwards.

Vanilla rooibos tea before bed.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Saturday January 5

Shit sleep what else is new.

1 egg pod + mayo

Crossfit. MA where were you?! wwhyyyyy

A. 6mins of: Muscle-up practice or chin-ups – 1-2 tough reps every 30sec
B. Snatch Grip Deadlift 4×5, rest 2mins - 105#
C. Group Metcon:

For time:
25 pull-ups (I did 20)
50 wall ball
25 toe to bar (20) - sorry it kills my hands
50 KB swings
25 push-ups

Took me like 9 minutes of course I was the last one. There were 5 of us, one girl was new she totally cheated more than I did and finished before me.

So, lunch today at "Raw Aura" in the burbs. I'll report back later.

Three days without sugar, and going strong. I'm not craving it.
Yesterday I did have a banana and an apple though.

Just now, a protein shake:
powder/banana/froz berries/coconutmilk+water

Met the gils at Raw Aura. You know what, it was a great vegan restaurant. Everything we ate was fantastic. We started with a bowl of kale chips, and these were nothing like what you make at home. They were done in a dehydrator so they were crispy and they coated them with a cashew sauce. Half the bowl was 'sour cream and onion' the other half was 'creamy roasted red pepper'. They make the cream with cashews, lime juice, salt, vinegar something like that. I'm gonna try it. I bought a bag to take home. If I can save you some Narine, you have to try them. Next starter was an avocado tartar with "crackers". Basically like an avocado salsa, not runny or anything, but a nice big serving with these dehydrated seed/veg crackers. Fucking fantastic. We killed it.

Then onto the mains: The special of the day was Classic Pad Thai: Zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, lime, cilantro... among other spices and additions, all very easily digested, all paleo if you will. (sans meat of course). The girls both got that, I decided to get what I wouldn't normally get (an occasional rule I use at new restaurants) so I got the Sweet and Sour noodles. Same thing, zucchini noodles, kelp noodles, red peppers, a creamy tangy with a bit of spice creamy almond sauce with roasted almonds on top. Fucking awesome. It was a huge heap of food and I ate every last bite. In fact we all ate every last bite. There was a ginger spice to my dish, it was so so good. It just murdered Fresh. Fresh is a rip and is tasteless compared to Raw Aura. Ladies, we need to go one day, furreal. It's out of the way, but only a half hour drive from my place. Worth it for on Saturday afternoon.

K, dessert time. Since I'm off sugar and emotional and shitty, I didn't get anything sweetened with agave (which was 95% of their desserts), and believe me, there was a lot to choose from. They had truffles, almond bars, a few cakes (mostly made from avocado to give it a velvety cheesecakey type of texture). My only option was the apple crumble, which was sweetened with dates. Yes, not great, but better than agave in my opnion. It contained sliced green apples in a cinnomany light sauce coated in a walnut/date crumble. Amazing. I was so stuffed but I ate it all - What else is new. The ladies each got their own piece of cake (we don't like sharing apparently), Nad got the chocolate avo cake, Lisa got the chocolate banana avocado cake. Both great. Nadia's tasted like it had booze in it, but I think its just the raw cocoa flavouring. Not bad. We all finished with a big mug of tea.

The bill came to 35 bucks each, and I think that's not bad at all. If we had wine it would have been much more of course, but we were being good girls. I should have taken photos, everything was prepared and plated with love, neat and tidy, all freshly made and so so creative. I mean they make the noodles each time you order with one of those vegetable noodlers so everything is guaranteed fresh. I think I need one. They're fantastic, they can slice or noodle things. Can be very handy when you're getting bored of your meat and roasted vegetable dishes. Or if you're a vegetarian, bored of your boiled/pan-fried vegetables and hard boiled eggs- yes I'm looking at you lulz. With this noodler you can make asian inspired meals, pastas.. the possibilities are almost endless. The "cook" was right there behind the bar preparing the meals, and you could see him noodling the zucchinis, seemed fast and easy. Raw Aura sells the noodler for $55 plus tax. I'm gonna look online and see if it's worth it. It might be my new kitchen best friend.

Anyway, if you wanna venture outside the city (not too far, Lakeshore/Hurontario) and you're looking for creative vegan raw meals, try Raw Aura. It's cozy, modern, creative, thoughtful, delicious and friendly - oh and super healthy. You won't be disappointed unless you're boring and don't like trying new things and only eat chicken fingers when you go out. Bye!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Friday Round 1 (3)

Sleep was so so bad. I had a really hard time falling asleep. And I had nightmares about terrifying poltergeists and I was sweating all night long. I blame the nightmares on my vitamin cocktail I had right before bed of D's and Magnesiums. Won't do that again. I don't think I like the magnesium I bought, it does weird things to my bowels. Sorry.

Jamie made fancy egg pods, a dozen of them. Good job, he's being good with the challenge. Avoiding temptation. Proud!
Had them with his home made mayo. Yummm.

Now drinking a coffee because I am fucking knackered. I wanted to hit the gym tonight but I might be too tired.

Banana + cashew butter

Chicken salad + cauli

It's Friday, can't wait to sleep in!!

Walnuts and cashews

2 egg pods/mayo

When I got home I lay on my bed debating going to the gym. It was either go Friday night, come home, tidy up, have dinner and watch a move/tv whatever. OR Stay on the couch all night long watch a few movies and relax, go to the gym in the morning. Guess which one was the winner?

1 sausage + sweet potato

I watched "Carnage" and then "Inglorious Basterds". Both C.W. movies. So what I'll do what I want. Carnage was a comedy, not THAT funny but interesting seeing him play that type of role. I like him in the Basterds much better. I then watched Californication and Coronation Street. Good Friday Night.

But of course, nothing can ever be perfect and my sleep was shit AGAIN. Hate. I'm forcing myself to go to the gym today when really I want to stay home and nap. I'm having lunch with girlfriends at some raw place in Mississauga. I'll have to get some protein in me before I hit this all-veg restaurant.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2013 Paleo Life day 2

Sleep was meh. Not terrible not great.

leftover meat stif fry/cauli

Made a chicken salad for lunch with the leftover roast chicken:
chicken, lime juice, olive oil, s/p, orange pepper and cashews. Will have that with spinach and tomato. What what!

Tonight I aim to hit CF round 3. And tomorrow workout 4! Let's GO! Then I can sleep in saturday and maybe hit the spa. Watch out.

Did I mention Jamie is on board with this new year's "resolution"? Yep, he's on the paleo bandwagon.

Note to self, make these things:

Banana Bread French Toast (As a TREAT)

Cashew sour cream, for future taco salads.

Sausage and Egg Sandwich - For this weekend's breakfast

Chicken Salad + 1/2 avocado

K I had the last three punkin protein balls. 2 before lunch, 1 after.
My lunch wasn't filling enough. Needed more veg to fill up on.

cashew lara bar like my fren MA.
spoonful of cashew butter. I'm a cashew face today, easy there big fella.

Tonight I reckon we'll have sausages and sweet potato in the oven.

I plan on hitting up crossfit again, I am feeling a bit addicted. This is what healthy eating and an expensive gym membership does to a person. Not a bad thing though.

Pre workout:
three spoons of chicken salad. I didn't eat enough today and was lightheaded doing my squats. Had to bail on my last set because I felt I couldn't do it.

Crossfit WOD:

A. Shoulder Press 4×5@80%, 1×5+@80%, rest 2.5mins - 55#
B. Back Squat 4×3@85-90%, rest 2.5mins - 120#
C1. GHD Hip Extension 4×8 [2014], rest 60sec - Love doing these.. feels so good.
C2. Single Arm bent-over supported DB row, 4×6-8 [2011] , rest 60s

Good workout, there was barely anyone there. Love it. and MA was there! yes!

Macedonian sausage + sweet potato + spinach + home made mayo YUMMMMM

I succeeded day 2 of no sugar.

OH, my Adidas Powerlift shoes arrived! Can't wait to do squats with these bad boys.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Paleo Challenge ROUND THREE

Today is the beginning of health kick/new life/paleo living/crossfitting/no drinking for FIVE WEEKS FUCK YOU.

I'm NOT gonna be making paleo cookies/muffins/breads this round. I realize I just made some pumpkin cookies yesterday but that's it. No more subbing healthy paleo snacks for cookies n muffins n shit. I'm eating straight up real food and getting strong, losing my fat stomach and reducing the circumference of my thunder thighs.  I like juicy thighs and ass but come on. There is a limit here people.

Today I feel like a fatass. I'm bloated, perioding and off my routine. Pootine. I have a ritual in the morning and it's off track from my holidays. So I feel extra bloated right now. Sigh. I also feel like people at work are looking at me thinking I came back looking like a big heffer. I've gained like 5 lbs. I know I sholdn't look at the scale but I did. And I sad.

Sleep was ok. I took some melatonin last night. Meh.

1.5 eggs omelette w/spinach and mushroom
3 farmers bacon

At work I'm drinking a shitty coffee and forcing myself to drink this boring glass of water. I just don't feel like drinking water in the morning.

Ok work time. Crossfit later if all goes well.

Pre lunch:
2 pumpkin protein cookies. They're small.

2 eggs/bacon wrapped things
cauliflower steamed

1 pumpkin cookie. the last one.

2 pumpkin cookies- they're proteiny!


A. Front Squat 3@85#, 2@105#, 1@110#, 3×3-4 @ 95-100#
B. Group Metcon  amrap=as many rounds as possible:

5min amrap: 200m row, 40 double unders (or a number you can complete in 30sec)
2min rest
5min amrap: 10 KB swings to chin level (16kg), 10 DB push press @ 20lb each
2min rest
5min amrap: 2 DB man makers - 15# (I didbn't realize it was only 2.. next time 20#), 8 box jumps

ground meat stir fry with Moroccan spice.

It was a good day, no sugar and I'm good.

Wait, one more pumpkin thing. Eep.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy 2013!

Ok It's on. Well, I'm having a glass of wine later with the neighbours but after that THEN it's on. Fuck this shit and fuck my fat belly. I am in search of new delicious paleo recipes and I'm ready to spend my spare time either:

a) at the gym
b) cooking healthy, sustainable meals
c) crocheting or reading a new book

Last night we went out for dinner but before that I roasted a chicken for the week. It turned out fantastic. So much cheaper to just buy a whole chicken (Mennonite raised, hormone/antibiotic-free, btw) It was 15 bucks. Considering if you just want breasts its like 10 bucks for two, I'd say its a good deal. And all you really need to do is pop it in the oven. Here's what I did:

I didn't want the chicken sticking to the pan so I made a bed of carrots and onions. Simple.
I made a rosemary/garlic/salt butter which I smushed under the skin of the breasts (with my hands, I love it) and with the remaining I coated the rest of the chicken. Added more salt and pepper on top. The key to good chicken is salt. Ask Swiss Chalet.

The general rule is cook a whole chicken 20 minutes per pound at 375º. It was a 3 and something pounder so I cooked it for about 75 minutes +. Usually you crank the last 10 minutes to 450º so the skin crisps. But I forgot.

It turned out SOOOO good-best chicken yet. The onion/carrot wasn't meant for eating but they were caramelized in the fat and all nice and crispy, we ate them anyway. That fat juice was so tasty!

So we've got a whole chicken to have for lunches. I also made a creamy kale thing. It's just kale, moroccan spice blend, garlic and coconut milk. All in a sauce pan after the kale has wilted a bit. It turned out creamy and flavourful. Next time I'm making like two big bunches of it cuz kale shrinks down so much it's annoying.

Right now for new years day breakfast I have "egg muffins" in the oven. I lined each cup with half a piece of bacon, put some mushrooms/spinach in each pod. Cracked an egg in each, added salt, pepper, chives and paprika. Easy and I don't have to mind it while it cooks. I'll let you know how that turns out. I was inspired by a recipe someone posted on the "Just Eat Real Food" facebook page. It's not a recipe, there are no rules. Just put things together, no measuring. Chef Michael Smith styles.

Later in the day I made paleo pumpkin cookies. I know I know, why do this? Well I was in a baking mood, I was hungry and didn't wanna dig into chicken. Here was my recipe:

1 cup pumpkin puree
1 cup almond flour
1/4 cup coconut shreds
1/2 tsp baking powder
handful chopped dates
1 tbsp cinnamon
pinch of salt
1 egg
1 scoop protein powder
handful chopped walnuts
half container unsweeetened apple sauce

bake 400º for 20 min. They turned out great. Obv I ate like 6 of them.

Later on we went to the naybs for some wine and cheese. Last night of indulgence. "Monday" is a new day. Monday meaning Wednesday.