Monday, March 4, 2013


Sleep was shyte. Went to bed too late, woke up a few times and had to get up extra early for an 8:10 dentist appointment. Who does that??!

2 eggs
1/2 avo

At work:

chocolate (paleo) macaroon. Last one. Good riddance you delicious bastards.

Leftover roast / cauli mash / squash

Why did I eat those onions??! I CAN NOT EAT ONIONS. Fart city. Uncomfortable gas.


last bit of roast lunch - I didn't eat the whole thing at lunchtime.

spoonful a-butter / 1 date

It was goood, not crazy but good. 
80# push press, 4x5

Alright, I am not ok. I am definitely feeling depressed, more so than I have ever felt in my life. I could cry so easily it's ridiculous. I have no patience,  I am extremely irritable and I don't enjoy people's company like I used to. All I wanna do is take baths, go to crossfit, eat and sleep. Literally that is all I wanna do. I take baths like every day, no joke. Just to waste time until it's sleep time. I just sit there in the tub til my fingers get wrinkly, until all the bubbles disappear and until my brain can't handle thinking anymore. I am poor company. I don't like being this way, not at all. I look at other people and wonder what it's like to feel normal. I wonder if they actually do feel normal and if they have any idea what other people are going through, what the F goes on in their heads.

I can no longer cope with people who are so self absorbed that they only talk about themselves. They don't inquire about other people's lives, they just yap away about their own garbage boring life. I can't take it. I can't do one-sided conversations anymore. I won't. I've gone on lunch dates with friends and not once did they ask how I was. I just had to sit there and listen to them talk about the mundane events happening in their lives. But what's most important is it's about them, right? Sometimes I chime in just so they stop talking and it was funny to hear that one of my friends does that too, when they are dealing with a self-talker. It's crazy. It needs to be pointed out to these people because they have no idea they do it. It is so unattractive and it is not good company.

I constantly feel like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. I reference this a lot because it is absolutely true. El-snappo Here are some examples:

I want breakfast.

Briefcase hijackers.


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