Tuesday January 3

Tired.

Breakfast:

• scrambled eggs, coffee

Snack:

• apple, cinnamon, peanut butter, bit of honey

Lunch:

• leftover chicken/chorizo/vegetable soup
• few olives
• 1 chicken wing-the kind off a roast chicken

Snack:

• home made carrot muffin w/icing - it was small.
• almonds
• 3 starburst
• 3 caramels

Dinner:

• salad - chicken thigh, bacon, cottage cheese, tomato, red pepper, croutons, balsamic.

That's all folks! Told myself I would run in between Crossfit classes-going tomorrow night for sure. I'm back into it baby! back! baby got back! Tonight I'm not running due to saying eff that noise i'm tired and it's cold out even though I have a treadmill I just wanna sit on the couch.

K, here's some ventage...

Do other people have to think about what they eat all the time like I do? Is it normal to constantly think about food and how 'good' I've done today by not eating this or that? What's it like to not have that on your mind at all? I have to concentrate and focus in order not to pig out or eat garbage. That's my inner obese person struggling to break through. And I'm NOT letting her out. I think I have conflicting genes. I think I am a fat skinny person but with this obesity gene nagging me in the background. I'm not supposed to have pudge, I think I'm supposed to be tall and skinny, but my fat gene is taking over. I think I will always be like this (obsessed with body image and constantly trying to avoid weight gain). The only way to avoid going overboard is to not be around delicious, bad food...much like an alcoholic. You know, 'once an addict, always an addict"? well, once a fat kid, always a fat kid. Same same. That's me.