off track

I have fallen off track harrrrd.
Last weekend was too boozy. There was pizza ordered at an ungodly hour, I had two slices and immediately slept. BAD. Then had eggs benny at a pub for breakfast + most of a caesar. BAD. definitely ate some mini chocolate bars AND an ice cream sandwich. BAD. I managed to steer clear of the fajita shells, but I had sour cream/cheese on my makeshift fajita salad. Meh. Funny how when I try so hard for weeks and feel good, a few bad choices seem to erase all my hard work. Not to mention I haven't worked out in over a week now. This is due to sickness and work. I guess we all need a break sometimes. Working too much + sickness also throws the eating off track. My grocery situation was shit all week, my meals not balanced and not eating the right things. When you're sick, preparing meat heavy dishes is not a priority. Eating what is available, is.

Right now it's 3:38am Saturday morning. My sore throat is much less sore, mostly gone actually. But now this sickness has migrated to my chest and I keep waking up coughing. To the point where I'm now sitting in the kitchen drinking a gross Neo Citran, in hopes it will suppress it and allow me to sleep. Did I mention it's expired? Only buy a month or two. Desperate times..My sleeps the past few nights have been minimal, and not due to my usual insomnia. This time it's coughing, weird dreams and sweats. I was having a pissed-off-at-jamie dream just now. We were fighting, it was frustrating.

When this is all done, I'm going back hardcore. Fuck this. I felt great eating the way I did during the challenge. Of course the non drinking lack of social life was mega depressing, but so is booze. So.. might as well have the odd good night instead of hermitting. I can't hermit too much, sorry.

I should get back on noting my foods and exercise, too. It's good for my brain to see what I'm consuming and what I'm doing about my muscles. Also mega slacking in this writing class. Clearly, I hate learning. I can't do classrooms anymore. I could do a craft class of some sort, and art class. I realize writing is art, but it's not the art I'm used to. It's not visual. I enjoy writing, but I enjoy it on MY terms. Assignments don't interest me. Or do they? Perhaps I'm not taking as much advantage of this class as I should. But gimme a break, it's my first writing class, my first time back in a class like this since college which was like 8 years ago. Whoa.

I want to squeeze yoga in once a week now that the cold weather has arrived. I've got a few more classes at the hot yoga gym nearby, myaswell use them. When those are done, I'll consider trying non-hot yoga. I need to learn more about this zen/meditation thing. I love crossfit, I like running when it suits me, but class exercises are just weird sometimes. Always feels like a competition. yeah, I get it, you're good at yoga, calm down. You're also 110 lbs, 5'5", gimme a break. Watch out while Arnold over here tries this graceful thing. I do suck.

Also, I hate my hair. Who let me cut it off?! Never satisfied, this girl. I have an ugly 90s teacher mushroom cut happening right now. I know I'm supposed to cut it in order for it to grow... but when you want longer hair, this concept seems retarded. I keep pushing off my appointment to 'clean up the back' but then I keep thinking, well if I cut it.. then it has to grow more to get back to that length! Eff. It's ALMOST bob worthy. I say by January but really do I have to go through Christmas with ugly in-between hair? I enjoy my slick back hair, I watched a few tutorials on pompadours. Tomorrow (today) when it becomes day time, I'm going to maybe walk to shoppers and check out the pomade situation. Apparently the modern greasers use pomade. I want to perfect the pomp while my hair growz.

Update: I went back to bed and woke up at 10:30, oblivious to the time. I could have slept longer. I'm having a weird sharp lower left back pain..not sure what that's about. I think I need a massage. I think my belly is getting fatter again. Fuck!

K, banana fake pancake time.